Thursday, December 16, 2010

How the Grinch Stole Christmas Snowflakes

Snowflake Mobile from Crochet World Omnibook Christmas Special, 1980

This photo is stark warning to us all. Don’t leave your Snowflake mobile unguarded for a single second this holiday season. Otherwise, the Grinch will leave nothing but hooks and some wire.
SNOWFLAKE MOBILE By Betty Leach
Hey, this is the same Betty who brought us the Happy Hanukkah UFO! So, by all means make both crafts to decorate your child’s nursery for ChristKwanukkah.

No? Hanumaszaa?

Kwanukkamas?

Hey, you’re not going to trick me into saying anything dangerous like Happy Holidays.
What could be more fun to make than a Christmas mobile?
Seriously? What could be more fun than suspending flimsy thread snowflakes from a crochet covered Cuban cigar?

Well, Betty, since you asked, I’d have more fun making Tuna Can Santa, Flat Santa and my personal favourite, Undead Santa. Plus I could sleep peacefully at night knowing that these Christmas Crafts would teach my kiddies the Timeless Truth that Santa Claus is Real!

Whereas your Snowflake mobile will convince my children that snowflakes come from the Big Pompon in the Sky thus destroying any chance of them getting into MIT and supporting me when I’m old and crocheting crotchety Christmas crafts.

Thanks for asking!

For the complete pattern (and more snark!):

SNOWFLAKE MOBILE
By Betty Leach

Snowflakes are the dangling objects ‘d’ art of this design.
According to the dictionary, Objets d’art are objects with artistic value. Whereas, objects ‘d’ art are objects which end up on Regretsy.
MATERIALS: 1 4-oz. skein 4-ply yarn in red and small amount of white; gold cord; pipe cleaners; white glue and straight pins; size I crochet hook; Knit-Cro-Sheen and size 8 crochet hook; Susan Bates Jumbo Pompon maker; 1 9’’ Styrofoam ring.
Because Susan Bates knows you can’t be trusted to make your own pompons.


COVER FOR RING: With I hook and red yarn, ch 18, dc in 3rd ch from hook, dc in remaining ch sts. ch 3, turn.
R 2: Dc in first dc and remaining dcs, working in back loops only. DC in top of turning ch – 15 dc, counting ch 3 as first dc. Ch 3, turn.
R 3: Repeat row 2 for 32 rows. Sl st first and last rows together to form ring. End off.
Place crocheted ring around Styrofoam ring and whipstitch edges together on inside of ring.

HANGING CORDS: Leave a 6’’ length of yarn, with red ch 61, end off leaving 6’’ length. Go back to center of ch, leave 6’’ length, join yarn in center ch and ch 30. End off, leaving 6’’ length. Take the 3 6’’ lengths and sew evenly spaced around edges of crocheted ring.
Turns out I owe Betty an apology. She didn’t hang her snowflakes from an ugly crochet-covered cigar as the photo led me to believe. She hung them from an ugly crochet-wrapped Styrofoam ring.

My bad!
POMPON

Make according to directions with red yarn, making one 4 ½’’ pompon. Or you made use a piece of heavy cardboard cut 4 ½’’ wide, winding yarn around cardboard 212 times.
Take top 6’’ length of hanging cord and tie securely to bottom of pompon. Take a 24’’ length of gold cord and tie to top of pompon, tie a knot at the end of gold cord to hang from ceiling hook.

FINISHING: Attach snowflakes with thread or fine gold cord around crocheted ring, hanging them at different lengths. Make bows from gold cord and attach with glue or pins to edge of crocheted ring, spacing them evenly around.
Pins? This certainly isn’t a toy for children.

Unless they’re on Santa’s naughty list.


Make candy caned by dipping pipe cleaner in white glue, take one strand of red and one strand of white yarn, holding the yarn together wrap around pipe cleaner. Let glue dry, cut pipe cleaner in half, end one end cane, tie bow at crook. Attach to edge of disk with glue or pins.
Dipping the entire pipe cleaner into white glue is a bit excessive. You better show more restraint than Betty did, or you won’t have enough white glue left over to finish your granny square cube.

FINISHING OF ALL SNOWFLAKES

Use liquid starch full strength, dip snowflakes into starch until they are thoroughly saturated. Squeeze out excess starch, pin snowflake into shape on flat surface and let dry completely. When dry, remove pins and run a length of thread through any top loop to form hanger.

MATERIALS: Knit Cro-Sheen, No.8 crochet hook.

No.1 SNOWFLAKE

Ch 8, join to form ring.
R 1: Ch 3, 4 dc in ring, * make popcorn stitch over those 5 dc. To make popcorn stitch remove hook from last dc made, insert hook into top loop of first dc and into last dc, thread over hook and draw through. Ch 5, repeat from * 4 times, repeating, ending with ch 3 and dc in top of first popcorn st.
R 2: * Ch 10, sl st in 3rd st from hook, ch 7, sl st in 3rd ch from hook, ch 7, sl st in 3rd ch from hook. Sl st in 1st ch 3 picot. Ch 7, sc in same space. Ch 5, sc in next space *. Repeat from * to * around. Ch 5, join with sl st to starting ch 10. End off.
Yes, this is merely Snowflake No. 1 out of 10! Now, other bloggers would try to fool you into believing there were only three variations of snowflakes and spend the rest of her leisure time watching TV and eating bonbons.

These deceptive bloggers are known in the blogging biz as sane, rational adults.

No.2 SNOWFLAKE

Ch 8, join with sl st.
R 1: * ch 7, sc in ring. Repeat from * 9 times. Join with sl st in base of first loop.
R 2: Sl st to center ch of first loop, sc in loop, * ch 9, sc in next loop. Repeat from * around. Join last ch 9 to first sc. End off.
R 3: Join thread in any ch 9 loop. * Ch 4, work a 5 trc cluster in loop. Ch 8, sc in 3rd ch from hook, * ch 3, sc in first sc. Repeat from * once.
I’m not sure if you’re supposed to repeat from the * before Ch 4 or the * before Ch 3. I suggest you do both just to be safe.
Ch 5, work another 5 trc cluster in same loop. Ch 7, sc in next loop. Ch 3, sc in same sc (picot made). * Ch 7, sc in next loop. Repeat from first * around. End with picot, ch 7 and join to bottom of first trc. End off.

No.3 SNOWFLAKE

Ch 6, join to form ring.
R 1: Ch 3, work 11 dc in ring, join to top of ch 3 – (12 dc).
R 2: * Ch 7, skip 1 dc, sc in next. Repeat from * around. End with sl st in base of first ch.
R 3: * 4 sc in first loop, ch 14, sl st in 3rd ch from hook. Ch 7, sl st in first sl st, ch 3, sl st back to first sl st. Ch 11, 4 sc in same loop. Ch 5, sl st back to 3rd ch from hook. Ch 2, repeat from * around. Join with sl st in first sc. End off.
Whoa, Betty likes overusing the * as much as she revels in overusing glue.

When will people realizing that asterisk abuse is a gateway to comma crime, semi-colon sins and the exploitation of exclamation marks!!!!!

No.4 SNOWFLAKE

Ch 6, join to form ring.
R 1: Ch 3, 17 dc in ring, join to top of ch 3 – 18 dc.
R 2: Ch 3, 2 dc in joining space, ch 2, 3 dc in next dc. * Ch 3, skip 1 dc, 3 dc in next dc, ch 2, 3 dc in next dc. Repeat from * around. End ch 2, sc in top of first ch 3.
R 3: Ch 15, sc in 3rd ch from hook, * ch 3, sc in next ch. Repeat from * to base of ch 15. Ch 1, turn, work ch 3 picots up opposite of ch 15. Join with sl st to top picot. End off.
R 4: Join thread in next ch 3 space. Repeat R 3.
R 5: Repeat R 3 and R 4 around. Twist each spoke after starching and let dry thoroughly.

No.5 SNOWFLAKE

Ch 8, join to form ring.
R 1: Ch 3, * dc in ring. Repeat from * 11 times. Join to top of ch 3.
R 2: * Ch 5, sc in next dc. Repeat from * around. Join in first ch of first loop.
R 3: Sl st to center ch of first loop. * Ch 7, sc in 3rd ch from hook. Repeat from * 6 times. Sl st in sc of first picot, ch 4, sc in loop. Sc in next ch 5 loop, (ch 3, sc in same loop) 3 times. Sc in next loop. Repeat from * around. Join with a sl st to first sl st of previous row. End off.
Or maybe all of these *’s aren’t really asterisks. Perhaps, Betty sees them as typographical snowflakes, turning her instructions into a Winter Wonderland.

Bloody annoying, either way.

No.6 SNOWFLAKE

Ch 5, join in first ch to form ring.
R 1: * Ch 10, sl st in ring *, repeat from * to * 4 times.
R 2: * Sl st to ch 10 loop. Work 15 sc in loop *. Repeat from * to * for each loop. Join in first sl st. End off.
R 3: Join in 7th sc of first loop. * Ch 15, work sl st in 3rd ch from hook for picot. Ch 12, skip 1 sc, sc in next sc, ch 8, sl st in 3rd ch from hook for picot. Ch 5 sc in 7th sc of next loop *. Repeat from * to * around, ending ch 5, sl st in joining. End off.

No.7 SNOWFLAKE

Ch 10, sl st to first ch to form ring.
R 1: Work 15 sc in ring, join with sl st in first sc.
R 2: Ch 3, 2 dc in same space as sl st, * ch 3, skip 2 sc, 3 dc in next sc *. Repeat from * to * around – 5 dc groups. Join with sl st to top of first ch 3.
R 3: Sl st to ch 3 space, ch 9, sl st in 3rd ch from hook for picot. Ch 8, sl st in 3rd ch from hook for picot. * Ch 3, sl st to base of last picot made. Repeat from * to * once.
Great, now we’re missing asterisks in these instructions. I’m beginning to understand why the snowflakes in the photo appeared… how do I put it nicely? Malformed? Misshapen? Misfits?

Misfits! That’s what these snowflakes are.
Ch 8, sl st in 3rd ch from hook (picot), ch 6, sc in ch 3 space. Repeat from beginning of round 4 times. Sl st in first sl st. End off.
Everyone sing together!

We’re on the Island of Misfit Flakes
Here we will melt away
We want to snow
On Santa Claus
And ice up his magical sleigh!

No.8 SNOWFLAKE

Ch 6, dc in first ch. * Ch 3, dc in same ch *. Repeat from * to * 4 times – 6 loops. Join to top of ch 3.
R 1: * Sl st to loop, ch 7, sc in same loop, ch 7, sc in same loop *. Repeat from * to * 5 times – 12-ch 7 loops. Join with sl st to first sl st. End off.
R 2: Join to top of any ch 7 loop with sl st. * Ch 4 (for first trc), work 3 trc, ch 7, 3 trc in loop. Ch 7, skip 1 loop. Repeat from * to * 5 times. Join to top of first trc.
R 3: * Sl st to ch 7 loop. (Ch 3, sl st in loop) 3 times. Ch 15, sl st in 5th ch from hook, ch 10, sl st in same ch 7 loop. (Ch 3, sl st in loop) 3 times. Sl st to next ch 5 loop, work (ch 3, sl st in loop) 5 times *. Repeat from * to * around. Join with sl st to first trc. End off.

Snowflakes for toys
Bring frostbitten joys
For millions of girls
And for millions of boys
When the Christmas Flakes are here
Every day seems like it lasts for a year.

No.9 SNOWFLAKE

Same as No.8, only make 5 loops, instead of 6.
R 1: Sl st in space, ch 4 (counts as 1 trc), work 6 trc in same sp. * Ch 3, 7 trc in next space *. Repeat from * to * around. Join with sl st to top of first trc.
R 2: Sl st to 2nd trc, ch 4, holding back last loop on hook, trc in each of next 4 trc, thread over and through all loops on hook (5 trc cluster made). * (Ch 8, sl st in 3rd ch from hook) 5 times. Join last picot to first picot made with sl st. Ch 5, sl st to top of cluster. Ch 5, sl st in ch 3 space, ch 5, work 5 trc cluster over center 5 trc *. Repeat from * to * around. Join last ch 5 to top of first cluster with sl st. End off.

An ice cube for Jimmy
A slush ball for Sue
The kind that will give you a bad case of flu.
When the Christmas Mobile’s here
Disappointment replaces holiday cheer.

No.10 SNOWFLAKE

Ch 7, join with sl st to form ring.
R 1: Ch 3, 11 dc in ring. Join to top of ch 3.
R 2: * Ch 5, sc in next sc, ch 12, sc in next sc *. Repeat from * to * around, ending last ch 12 with sl st to base of first ch 5.
R 3: Ch 1, turn – working in long loops only, * 12 sc in loop, pushing ch 5 loop to back of work *. Repeat from * to * around. Join to first sc. Ch 1, turn.
R 4: Sl st over 5 sc, * ch 5, sl st in same st, sl st in next st *. Repeat from * to * twice. Sl st over next 10 sc. Repeat from first * around. Join with sl st to first sc. End off.
At last, you’re done! But it’s still not too late to use your Misfit Snowflakes for good rather than evil mobiles.

For instance, you could smush all the crochet snowflakes together to form a snowman hat for your dog. There’s no way that could be evil!


Click here for the printable pattern.

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