I don’t believe this is a Pixie Loop Stitch Hat. Why?
Because these are vintage Pixies...
And this is a 1960s Christmas tree!
I don’t know about you, but that Loop Stitch hat doesn’t make me think of Pixies. It reminds me of the time I drank spiked eggnog and woke up with a Christmas wreath on my head.
However, if you’d rather not spend the weekend picking pine tar out of your hair, this crocheted hat is the perfect Recession-friendly accessory to wear to your office Christmas party! Assuming your company is still planning to host one, that is.
For the complete pattern (and more seasonal snark):
PIXIE LOOP STITCH HAT
Knitting Worsted: 4 oz.
300 WALCO Bangles
Crochet Hook, Size J (9)
I recommend dark green yarn and bright red bangles for that authentically Christmassy look.
However, you may have some difficulty tracking down one WALCO bangle, let alone 300 of them. These days, “bangle” is another word for bracelet, and Walco is a company that sells agricultural equipment.
Now, I’m not saying a tractor can’t be festive...
But I don’t recommend wearing it on your head.GAUGE: 5 sc = 2’’.
NOTE: Thread BANGLES on wool.
BANGLES is capitalized so that you don’t accidentally thread BEADS or BAUBLES or BABIES on your wool instead.Round 1: BANGLE LOOP STITCH – Ch 3, join with a sl st to form ring, side facing you is wrong side of hat, *slide a BANGLE close to work, wind yarn around index finger of left hand forming loop, insert hook in ring, bring hook under strand of yarn and draw thru ring, drop loop from finger and hold down on right side of work, yarn over hook and pull thru 2 loops on hook; repeat from * 5 times more – 6 Bangle Loop Stitches.
Babies especially tend to object to these sorts of careless errors.
If you do choose to wear this hat to your office Christmas party, just be sure to brush up on the rules of etiquette first. After all, the line between fun-loving gal and complete flake is a thin one, especially when you’re wearing a Christmas tree on your head.
Round 2: Work a Bangle Loop st in each st – 6 loop sts. Repeat last round once.
Round 4: INCREASE ROUND: *Work 2 sc in each sc around – 12 sc.
Round 5: Work a Bangle Loop st in each sc – 12 loop sts.
Round 6: Work 1 sc in each st around – 12 sc.
Round 7: Same as Round 5.
Round 8: Same as Round 4 – 24 sc.
Round 9: Work a Loop st in each sc, putting a BANGLE in every other loop st – 12 bangle loop sts, 12 plain loop sts.
But hey, even if you do end up humiliated in front of your boss, your office crush, and the janitor, you can still console yourself with the fact that your company’s solvent enough to host parties.Round 10: *2 sc in next sc, 1 sc in next sc: repeat from * 36 sc.
Round 11: Same as Round 9 – 36 loop sts.
Round 12: 1 sc in each st around – 36 sc.
Round 13: 1 Loop st in every st, a Bangle in every other Loop st – 18 Bangle Loop sts, 18 plain loop sts.
Round 14: Same as Round 10 – 54 sc.
Round 15: Work a Loop st in each sc around, a bangle in every other loop.
Round 16: Work 1 sc in each sc around – 54 sc.
Work as for last 2 rounds until end of 34th round, TURN, work 1 round of sc, join and break off. Turn under last round of hat and sew to left side.
Just remember, the last time we experienced an economic downturn this bad, Mickey had to sell Pluto to a family of Capitalist Pigs!
Things don’t look so bad now, do they?Click here for the printable pattern.