Hemlines are climbing again in the Western world, suggesting that teenage girls are optimistic about our economic future, even if no one else is.
So what are we Canadians to do? We want to show off our great swaths of exposed leg to help boost the economy, but the Canadian winter looms on the horizon.
Why we can crochet up some stockings, of course!
For the complete pattern (and more snark!):
“Why is there blood spattered on that page?” asked my 11yo son.Mesh Crochet Socks and Stockings
“It's an exclamation mark,” I told him. “A big, red exclamation mark! Celebrating short skirts and economic prosperity!”
I don't think he believed me.
SIZES: Small to medium; medium to large size
“DAWN” KNITTING WORSTED or
3 – 4 oz. skeins for long stocking
2 – 4 oz. skeins for knee socks
Plastic Crochet Hook Size H OR ANY SIZE HOOK WHICH WILL RESULT IN STITCH GAUGE BELOW
Then again, best guess would place this book in the mid-1970s, which was hardly a time of economic prosperity.GAUGE: 2 meshes = 1 inch, 2 rows = 1 inch
Directions are given for small to medium size. Changes for medium to large in parentheses.
Staring at toe, ch 4, join to form ring, ch 4, dc in ring, * ch 1, dc in ring, repeat form * 7 times, ch 1, join in 3rd st of ch, ch 4 to turn all rounds; (ch 4 at beg of each round counts as ch 1 and 1 dc).
Oil shortages, rising crime, violent social unrest and rampant inflation... Maybe blood spatter on the pattern is appropriate.2nd ROUND: DC in joining, * ch 1, dc in next dc, ch 1, dc in next dc, ch 1, dc in same dc, repeat from * all around ending ch 1, dc in next dc, ch 1, join in 3rd st of ch, ch 4, turn; (15 dc).
3rd ROUND: Dc in next dc, * ch 1, dc in next dc, repeat from * all around, join.
4th ROUND: Dc in same space, * ch 1, dc in next dc, repeat from * twice, ch 1 repeat from beg all around ending to correspond; (20 dc).
5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, (9th, 10th) ROUNDS: Work even in meshes.
Wow, who knew mesh stockings could be such a downer?9th, (11th) ROUND: Dc in next dc, * ch 1, dc in next dc, repeat from * 12 times, ch 4, turn. (This leaves 5 dc free for instep.)
10th-16th (12th through 18th) ROUNDS: Work even on 15 dc.
17th, 18th, (19th, 20th) ROUNDS: Work in meshes working 3 center dc tog, fold heel section tog in last round and join in 3rd st of ch.
19th , (21st) ROUND: Working all around top, dc in next row, * ch 1, dc in next row, repeat from * 7 (9) times, * ch 1, dc in next dc of instep, repeat form last * 4 times, ch 1, dc in same space with turning ch, ch 1, dc in next row, finish opposite side to correspond, ch 1, join in 3rd st of ch, 26 (30) meshes.
I think I'll just focus on the sexiness of mesh stockings instead.20th, (22nd) ROUND: Dc in next dc, * ch 1, dc in next dc, repeat from * 6 (8) times, work 3 dc tog, * ch 1, dc in next dc, repeat from last * twice, work 3 dc tog, * ch 1, dc in next dc, repeat from last * 7 (9) times, ch 1, join.
KNEE SOCKS ONLY: Work even in meshes for 14 inches or desired length allowing for cuff, cut yarn.
LONG STOCKINGS: Next 24 ROUNDS: Work even.
And I'll also focus on figuring out where in my neighbourhood I can go shopping for a garter belt to hold these sexy, sexy stockings up.47th ROUND: Dc in next dc, ch 1, dc in next dc, ch 1, dc in same dc, work ch 1, dc meshes in next 17 (21) dc, inc in next dc same as beg, ch 1, dc in next sc.
48th ROUND: Work even on 24 (28) meshes.
49th ROUND: Inc in 3rd dc at beg and in 3rd dc from end, 26 (30) meshes.
50th and 51st ROUNDS: Work even on 26 (30) meshes.
52nd ROUND: Inc in 4th dc from each end 28 (32) meshes.
NEXT 8 ROUNDS: Work even on 28 (32) meshes, cut yarn.
TASSEL FOR KNEE SOCKS: Take 6 strands 10 inches long, fold in half and loop through one mesh. Work a tassel alternating in every other mesh of 1st and 3rd row of meshes; if necessary leaving odd meshes at inside. Trim fringe evenly.
Hmmm... the bridal shop or the sex shop for garters? Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. Oh heck, I know which one I'd rather visit!Click here for the printable pattern.