“That’s it!” announced Phyllis. “I quit!” She flung her dishcloth down on the kitchen table.
Three pairs of astonished eyes turned her way.
“But you can’t quit,” said Debbie. “Who’ll make dinner?”
“We’ll starve!” wailed Barbie, her vapid eyes brimming with tears.
“While I completely support your desire for self-actualization,” said Linda, “You should have given us a couple weeks notice.”
“I’m a Super Heroine, not a maid!” roared Phyllis.
“Then why do you call yourself Mighty Maid?” asked Barbie, her tears drying up instantly.
“And why do you wear your hair like that?” asked Debbie.
“You did crochet yourself a breastplate that looks like a tiny little apron,” Linda pointed out.
“It’s a HEXAGON! And I clean up CRIME, not your disgusting MESS!” And with that, the door slammed and Phyllis was gone.
“Now who’s going to make dinner?” asked Barbie.
“I’m quitting, too,” said Linda. “I’ve got a line on a Wonder Woman gig. As an Amazon, I get to lasso and tie up men, and I won’t have to make my own costume.”
“I just got an offer to appear in a Wonderbra ad,” admitted Debbie.
And with that, the Super Foxes Super Team tragically disbanded.
Not that anyone noticed.
For the complete pattern (and more snark!):
For materials list, see part 1.
TENSION: 5 dc groups = 3 ins.
Ch 5. Join with ss to form ring.
1st round: Ch 3. 1 dc in ring. (Ch 1. 2 dc in ring) 5 times. Ch 1. Ss in top of ch 3.
2nd round: Ss to 1st ch space. Ch 3. (1 dc. Ch 1. 2 dc) in same space. Ch 1. * (2 dc. Ch 1. 2 dc) in next ch space for corner shell. Repeat from * 4 times. Ss in top of ch 3.
3rd round: Ss to 1st ch space. Ch 3. (1 dc. Ch 1. 2 dc) in same space. * 2 dc in next ch space. (2 dc. Ch 1. 2 dc) in next corner shell. Repeat from * 4 times. 2 dc in next ch space. Ss in top of ch 3.
4th round: Ss to 1st ch space. Ch 3. (1 dc. Ch 1. 2 dc) in same space. * 2 dc between corner shell and next 2 dc. 2 dc between next 2 dc and corner shell. (2 dc. Ch 1. 2 dc) in next corner shell. Repeat from * 4 times. 2 dc between last corner shell and next 2 dc. 2 dc between next 2 dc and 1st corner shell. Ss in top of ch 3.
5th round: Ss to 1st ch space. Ch 3. (1 dc. Ch 1. 2 dc) in same space. * Miss 2 dc of corner shell. (Ch 1. 2 dc between next 2 dc) twice. Ch 1. (2 dc. Ch 1. 2 dc) in next corner shell. Repeat from * 4 times. (Ch 1. 2 dc between next 2 dc) twice. Ch 1. Ss in top of ch 3.
Well, what do you know? The only bolded commandment in this entire pattern is “between,” and it’s only repeated twice.6th round: Ss to 1st ch space. Ch 3. (1 dc. Ch 1. 2 dc.) in same space. * 2 dc between groups to next corner shell. (2 dc. Ch 1. 2 dc) in next corner shell. Repeat from * 4 times. 2 dc between groups to 1st corner shell. Ss in top of ch 3.
Wow, this lack of bossy bolding is exhilarating. I feel completely free to ignore any instruction I like now!
Maybe I’ll crochet myself an octagon instead of a hexagon. That’ll show the pattern editor what’s what.7th and 8th rounds: As 6th round.
9th round: Work as 5th round, working (Ch 1. 2 dc) between 2 dc sts from each corner shell to next corner shell.
Okay, that’s three bolded words in total. But it’s just a puny “between”. I don’t feel at all intimidated.10th and 11th rounds: As 6th round.
12th round: 1 sc in each st and 3 sc in ch space of each corner shell to end of round. Ss in 1st st. Fasten off.
You know, if I did make an octagon in red, I could embroider a big white STOP in the center. And that’s way more subtle than bellowing, “Eyes up here!” at chest-ogling males.NECK BAND: Make a chain 20 ins long (or desired length). 1 dc in 3rd ch from hook. 1 dc in each ch to end of ch. Fasten off. Sew ends to one straight edge of motif as illustrated.
Okay, it’s a bit more subtle.
SIDE PIECES: With right side of work facing, join B in back loop of 5th st before 3 sc of corner shell at side of motif. Ch 4. Continue as given for side piece of Square Motif design on page 4. Press lightly.
Of course, it’s not on “page 4”, it’s a couple of posts back. But I’ve thoughtfully linked it for you. Because I’m just that kind of nice.Click here for the printable pattern.
Now, go! Crochet! Create your own superheroine group! But always remember to share household chores.
After all, look at what happened to the Super Friends. They had a chore chart and a certain Amazon princess thought she was above menial labour. Next thing you know, Aquaman was leaving passive aggressive notes about everyone expecting him to wash the dishes, and then Bats started putting sticky labels on all his food. It pretty much went downhill from there, and Robin still won’t speak to the Wonder Twins.
The moral, of course, is to always take time out from crocheting and battling crime to clean up after your space monkey.
ETA: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 - Collect them all!